Letting Go of the Bag

You may try to hide it from view, but it's there. It sits right next to you each day. Inside the bag is an array of life's experiences — but they are not yours. The bag has been handed to you by others. It carries their dashed dreams, their hurt feelings from the past, their pain, and their suffering. It was passed down to them from people in their past, and they in turn passed it along to you — often without any awareness of how it affects the people they love.

When the bag is given to you, it feels truly unpleasant. It is full of pouting, blame, guilt, anger, love desperation, and the aftermath of self-medicating habits. The weight of it comes from the negative energy absorbed through others. Some people never developed the tools to create a new model of behavior, so they passed on what they received. In its most honest form, it comes from people who have adopted the role of victim — who see everything and everyone as a problem, and who are looking, always, for somewhere to put the bag.

It shows up in small moments too. Standing in a line, you immediately dislike someone in your view. You judge their clothing, decide you'd never be friends because of their shoes. And to keep that energy alive, you tell a friend. Now you're connected — not through kindness, but through dislike. There's a brief rush in the agreement. But it's worth asking: would sharing something kind about that same person feel just as good?

Letting Go

I'll be honest — as I write this, I know that I still sit with a bag. But I am no longer wired to it. It surfaces in unexpected moments, when life twists in a direction I didn't anticipate and I'm faced with a test of how I react. I feel the twitch — the twitch to pout, to quicken with anger, to feel discontent. And that's okay. Because I know who I am, and I know I can navigate through it.

The bag has far less power over me now. I focus instead on who I have become — my accomplishments, the way I choose to love the people in my life, and the joy that has grown from setting the weight down. I am inspired by vision. I am inspired by people who are kind-hearted and who see possibility. And in turn, I try to inspire them.

If I give someone a bag now, it is full of good things. And I feel like Santa Claus every single day — I just don't wear the red suit.