This Song in My Head

Often without even realizing it, we pick up a tune — not necessarily a favorite one — and it takes up residence in our heads for a surprising amount of time. Maybe it was playing in the background at the grocery store. An old but not forgotten Fleetwood Mac song, or that catchy melody you can't shake no matter how hard you try.

What's clear is that the mind can latch onto a rhythm and hold it without our permission — for days, sometimes weeks — even when we're not particularly enchanted by the melody.

It's harmless enough when it's a song. But what happens when the rhythm the mind holds onto is an emotional narrative?

It can be sparked by something someone said directly to us. Or a comment on social media not even directed our way — and yet we attach to it, and it lands with unexpected weight. Depending on how we navigate our emotions, being affected by someone else's words can run a wide spectrum: from a momentary consideration to something that quietly chips away at our sense of self-worth over time.

When we are asked to dance to a tune we weren't expecting, becoming aware of its impact is the first step to breaking the rhythm. When we can look at it from a distance, we can bring acceptance into the mix. Not acceptance that you are willing to be distraught by it — but simply accepting that your emotions have been affected. Owning that, without judgment, is where the power begins to shift.

We are continually being touched by the thinking of others. We feel words stir something in us. And over time, we learn — slowly, imperfectly — to minimize how much power we give those words. It is a lifelong process. It starts with knowing yourself. Knowing that no matter who is saying what, you are the one who ultimately chooses how much weight their words carry.

Dance with the words that lift you. The ones that provoke good thinking and good health. Like the song spinning around in your head — make sure it's one that makes you want to sing.